I Am An Artist

I've always wanted to be an artist.  I've spent time as a wanna-be artist and I've spent time as a closet artist and just recently I've learned to be an artist.  The fact of the matter is, I've always been an artist, I was just too afraid to call myself one.  I've spent most of my life too afraid of too many things.  I'm learning how to step away from the fear and embrace the things of which I've been fearful.

Last Friday I went to my friend Joy's yoga studio to participate in an informal, relaxing art/craft night.  We simply made art.  A variety of supplies was provided and we were turned loose to create.  I thoroughly enjoyed myself and the time spent with friends new and old.  The time flew by and I ended up with an incomplete project.  I brought all the pieces of my project home with me and promised Joy I would finish it on my own.  I got home and placed my project on the kitchen counter with a sense of sadness and guilt knowing that it was most likely going to stay in that unfinished stage.

When it comes to art I have always had a difficult time finishing what I start.  This past week (as I neared completion of a project that had been started a couple of years ago) I asked myself why it took me so long to get to this point.  As I explored my past reasons, I realized that finishing something of an artistic or crafty nature makes me an artist.  I have a piece of art that I created and therefore I am creative and artistic.  What if I'm not good enough?  What if no one but me can appreciate it?  What if it turns out to be uuugly?  What if I fail?  Those questions have always been so terrifying that I have always purposely not finished a piece, or even worse, never started.

I now own and embrace that the elation and gratification of creating is what's important.  For now the end product is of miniscule importance compared to the empowerment and bliss that come from the process of creating something, anything.  The project that I started Friday night is still not completed, but not because I am afraid of it turning me into an artist.  It is in a drying stage of creation.  Once the glue has set I will continue working on it until I decide it is complete for I AM AN ARTIST.

A special thanks to my friend Joy, who has helped me in so many ways, learn to be me.